How does Psychodynamic coaching work?
Most coaching approaches are classified as goal or solution focused. The client is guided to identify their goals and pursue them in a linear fashion. Whilst this may have some benefit, it doesn’t consider the complex environments and situations the client experience daily. This approach restricts their ability to explore, understand and redefine their strategy as emotional issues emerge.
As children we thought and acted on our emotional impulses, however, as we grew older, we were taught to act rationally. Emotions were consigned as distractions that impeded our development and progress. Traditional coaching approaches operate on a conscious level disregarding our genetic survival instinct, the flight or fight response state, an emotional reaction.
As a psychodynamic coach I recognise the importance of emotions and their significant influence on our thoughts and actions.
The key to this is the unconscious, where we store the collective history of all our experiences. When we encounter challenges, our response will be dictated by our past experiences. If the experience was negative and traumatic, our response would be more emotionally charged and irrational. Conversely, if positive and euphoric, then our action would be rational and logical. We call this a learned behaviour.
Psychodynamic coaching has proved highly effective, operating directly in the unconscious mind, enabling an individual to personally transform, and/or, professionally transition to their desired goals.
How do you measure the success of coaching?
Coaching is an invaluable tool for personal development that facilitates different thinking in the client, in order to enhance current or acquire new skills. However, one major question that emerges early in my conversation with prospective clients is “How will I know that it is working?”.
There is no definitive answer, apart from the personal feedback from those who have received coaching, such as improvement in performance and leadership, confidence in speaking etc.
This is not surprising given, as coaches, we are dealing with unique personalities intertwined with socio-economic influences. I’ve intentionally excluded from this mix the impact of the coach as a person, with their own histories and experiences. Peeling back the layers of complexity, the strength of the coach-client relationship becomes a powerful contributor in helping the client reach their goals.
Once a strong relationship is established, other factors start gaining greater momentum:
- coach's skill and experience in creating an unconscious shift
- client’s recognition and willingness to change
- the client’s motivation towards high impact goals
NLP
When you go out in the car you’ll probably use a satnav or mobile app to work out the best route to your destination. NLP is like a satnav in your mind that helps you to identify how you can achieve what you want, it works out how best to get you to your destination. In this example the maps are the collection of all your memories, experiences and feelings to date, all of which make up your unconscious mind.
Or, its like you are going shopping but do not know where to find the thing you’re looking for. NLP is the shopper’s assistant that helps point the way to where you can find what you want. In this way, your thoughts of what you want are represented by your conscious mind and the place where you can get what you desire represents your unconscious mind.
The clearer you are with setting your satnav or the better you are at describing what you are looking for in a shop, the quicker you can get to the place or the things you want.
EMDR
Do you find that there are some experiences that you simply find hard to remember, names, places, house/car keys etc when you need them the most, yet when there is no urgency or you do not need them, you suddenly remember? EMDR is your experienced locksmith. It helps unlock those memories that can help you overcome the problems.
Most people enjoy eating cake, but it’s important to be careful when baking one. When you take the cake out of the oven it’s easy to burn yourself as it is piping hot. EMDR is like the oven gloves that protect you from burning your hands while holding the hot tray.
Similarly, we have all been in a situation where we have dropped an unopened bottle of fizzy drink on the floor. We all know that if we open that bottle straightaway, then the drink is going to spray out all over the place, making a mess. Now imagine if there was a safe and controlled way to open that bottle so that there is no spillage or any mess.. Your thoughts and experiences in your unconscious are like the fizzy drink and EMDR helps you to access them in a way without any mess so you can enjoy the drink you wanted to.
EMDR helps you to handle memories and experiences in a safe and controlled way to allow you to move forward in your life.
Third Wave Therapies (mindfulness, Acceptance Commitment etc)
Sadly, these days, we are all feeling the pinch of time and find ourselves in a constant race to get things done. We don’t have or allow ourselves to stop and breath and take a little time to determine the right action.
At some point in time we’ve all reacted to a situation ‘in the heat of the moment’ and then regretted it in the cold light of the day. Often realising that had we spent a little time thinking before we acted that not only would our reaction be different but also the outcome too. For example, we’ve all experienced being stuck in slow moving traffic desperate to get home by a specific time. We can’t do much about it but when another driver pulls out in front of us without warning we rapidly develop a sense of anger, and when there’s no apology or even a thank you, it can lead to road rage and potentially onto something more serious. Of course, in reality we all know an extra car in front will only add a few seconds to our journey which doesn’t really make a difference.
Third Wave therapies are a number of techniques that give back to us control of what and how we make decisions. They help create a bit of ‘breathing space’ to enable us to reason with our thoughts and decide on the best course of action.